called today to schedule a visit and was told he is in isolation(their word for solitary) no one will tell me why or for how long and the feeling I get is no one really G.A.S.(sorry!!) anyway now I am having a panic attack. I tried calling the chaplin and haven't heard back yet. They just do not understand this could do a lot of damage to him. Feel so helpless......
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I am a mother of 3,I have 2 daughter's 22,and 19,I also have a son who is 17 as of Nov 14'th.
Anyway this is my son's story:
On Oct 27,2011 my son was arrested,and taken to Juvenile detention,and every 2 week's he had his juvenile hearing's to see if he would get to come home,or not,and of course he never did...Then Dec of 2011 he had to get stitches right by his eyebrow due to a injury he sustained by guard's at the juvenile,He was only 14 at the time of his arrest.
Now by Feb 6th of 2012 he got sentenced to Tyc,which is now called Tjjd,and he never made his stage's...he turned 15 in Juvenile.
Then he turned 16 in Tjjd,and on July 18'th of 2013 his case was transferred to criminal court,they gave him a plea bargain of 4 year's in the penitentary.
Now on Nov 14'th he turned 17,and his court date was on Nov 18;th of 2013 so just a few day's ago he was indicted.
And I do not know how to deal with this,and he is so scared,as well as I am,and I don't know if I was supposed to write this or not,but if not please let me know...Just looking for someone to talk to about the situation...someone who is going through this as well,and this is the first time I have ever had to go through something like this,my heart is breaking,and I feel like I am in a nightmare,and I can't wake up!!!
My son is in jail for drug charge. He has been on a downward spiral since about 16 or in some respects since he was 11 and his dad died of cancer. It was of course a huge blow to me and my sons and something none of us will recover from ever.. But life goes on and for him it goes on in not so positive of a manner.. I have chased him around on old dirt roads, taken away keys, taken away phones, cars, sent him to church camp, and about everything you can imagine to turn his direction. IT has not worked obviously. So several wrecked cars later and a second arrest here we are.. I have new respect for families of loved ones in jail. You just can't know the pain until you go through it. He won't be in there much longer, but unless jail has really made an impression then I expect this will continue. So I'm praying for the best, but also facing what has become my life for the last few years. I needed some mental support. It's not something you share at work as you just get looks of judgment. They don't mean to, but I guess they just can't help it. So I keep to myself. Cry by myself.. So I was glad when I came upon this site. On the up side he looks better now then I've seen him in years. His skin was clear and he had put on some weight. I think the clean life agrees with him. Thank you for letting me share! K
Got a letter today, as always it is good to hear from him but also makes me sad. He is moving back into "W" ASAP. Hope that goes OK and he can spend his time not afraid. He also sent a copy of the poem he wrote and they printed in the prison newsletter. Kinda cool.
We finally had a visit on Saturday. He is still in SHU (behind glass and in chains) but it was still good to see him. He is keeping a good attitude and we are hopeful for a sentence reduction. I do not want to get my hopes up but also do not want to keep having negative thoughts. He is going back to general population ASAP,kinda scary but it is better than being locked up in a small cell 23 hrs a day.
We got a very nice Thank you letter from Daniel Boutwell! who I sent a Halloween card to. when you send things you never know if they have received them or not, and it is nice to know they did and that it was appreciated. Rhonda Renae Boutwell you should be very proud of a caring son who took the time to thank a stranger. Made my day!
Well a new month has started, we hope to be able to make a visit sometime before thanksgiving, it is only a 3 hr drive(each way) but when we leave at 4am and get back by 2pm it makes for a long day. But we are glad he is close enough to drive to visit. We are still waiting to hear from his new court appointed lawyer, trying to get his sentence reduced. I want to stay positive but also realistic. basically not get my hopes up then be disappointed again. Waiting and wondering are difficult.
Our lives are patterns--every experience we encounter is a piece of fabric being put together to create a memory...some good, some bad, and all worth taking notice of. I say this because I was feeling sad and immediately a picture of my mother from way back in the day came to mind of her singing the words to this song--and it was not an easy time for her (dealing with so many issues) but she held on and found encouragement in God. The memory of her singing and working and humming the words at times bring comfort to me that as she made it through her storm, so will I too. These are a few of the lyrics to the song and I hope that they will encourage you as well
Where do I go,When the storms of life are threatening?Who do I turn to when those winds of sorrows blow?And is there a refuge in the time of tribulation?
I go to the rockI know He's ableI go to the rock
I go to the rock for my salvationI go to the stone that the builders rejectedI run to the mountain and the mountain, he stands by me
When the Earth all around me is sinking sandOn Christ, the solid rock I standWhen I need a shelter, when I need a friendI go to the rock...
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/30/tom-dart-60-minutes_n_4017685.html
I asked for an extension for my son's taxes because I didn't know what to do. The deadline is next week and I really don't have the monies to pay HR Block. My son had depleted his savings and 401k for his 1st trial. He has been in jail for 1 year and awaiting a 2nd trial as his first one was a hung jury. All his monies went to his attorney who he no longer has because there is no more funds and now has a PD. He has only seen him once and I have called and sent emails but to no avail has there been a response. There is extreme political corruption with his case with the Judge, Sheriff and DA. If he is convicted he will be going to prison for a long time. I just don't know what to do when someone is in jail and possibly with a long term sentence and has no monies for taxes. Do I file? I am sure with the 401K he will owe...what happens if he cannot pay? It would be helpful with any information on this matter. Thank you all in advance. I am alone and it is difficult to make decisions and am scared not knowing what to do....this all has been overwhelming to me.
Sending Hugs to you all! Hope you feel the love and support. We stand together as Moms. xoxo
Peace is a friendly open hand
Peace is a place to understand
In some strange way I found Peace here today.
I want to offer my heartfelt thanks for the mom's in this group. I was hurting and hopeless the day I found you all. It has been a real blessing to my life. You helped me know I was not alone and that you understood me and did not judge me or my son. - I pray that in some way, today, God visits each and every one of you with some form of true Peace. And that when you experience it, you will savor it, you will hold onto it--for that moment alone. May you know that Peace overcomes the obstacles we face. It does not take them away, but it enables us to bear them.
Back in the day when I was a little girl I used to hear my momma singing this song to God from the scriptures Psalm 63. I used to say to myself... "Why is she singing that song all the time?" I never knew (until I became a mommy myself) that she really needed God to intervene for the things she went through as a mother and wife. Now I find myself humming, singing, and meditating on some of the verses of Psalm 63. It is comforting to both my spirit and soul:
"Hear my cry O' God attend unto my prayer,
From the ends of the earth, will I cry unto thee,
And when my heart is overwhelmed, Lead me to the Rock
That is higher than I, that is higher than I.
For thou has been a shelter for me, and a strong tower,
From the enemy...and when my heart is overwhelmed,
Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I, that is higher than I."
This is what I go to sleep on...Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I...
God bless our sons tonight to know that they are in your watchful care and no matter what happens to them, I pray that you will let them know that they are loved and missed and wanted--not just by us (their mothers)but by you as well. Blessings ♥
I wrote these words to God after listening to a beautiful worship song the other night:
Send down your power Lord, Like Never Before, Sustain me, for I am in need, like never before. Send Your supernatural strength, like never before-It is You that I need, like never before.
I am waiting to hear from my son who is in processing at Alhambra in Phoenix, AZ. This is a nightmare...I keep waiting to wake up. I am trying my best to make it and stay positive--but it is the most difficult thing I have had to face in life. I pray this burden will be lifted. I am grateful for a place to be myself--sometimes family do not understand and can be the worse advisors. I know they mean well, but I just cannot take another word of advice--I just need someone to listen to the unspoken words of my heart and allow me to be myself right where I am until I am able to get up again. Lord help me please. I cry out to you...day & night.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/04/mental-illness-prisons-jails-inmates_n_2610062.html
I just can't imagine that our lives are gonna be much easier until someone, whoever, I don't care, comes in here and cleans up these county jails/prison of the cruel and sadistic Correction Officers. Wouldn't even know where to start. . .
http://www.miamiherald.com/2013/01/08/3173481/jail-no-place-for-the-mentally.html#storyBody
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/paul-heroux/understanding-and-compass_b_2384989.html?utm_hp_ref=tw
