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Hello mom's - I don't write much on here but want to share my story.

Today I was fortunate to go visit  my son  with my daughter.  As we were waiting to go in for the visit a mother came out from visiting her son and she was very sad, you could see she was trying very hard to keep her composure but as she was waiting to speak to one of guards to get her money back from not being able to get her picture taken with her son she really started to fall apart. I sat there and waited for her to finish her business and then followed her to her locker as I didn't want to embarrass her in front of a bunch of people. So as she stood in front of her locker I said to her, no matter what we are good mothers and I think you need a hug from one mother to another. She turned around and completely broke down in my arms. Unfortunately her son is being moved due to some problems. Her visit with him was between glass, my heart went out to her. She was heart broken. Should couldn't understand why he did what he did and all I could think to say is we don't always understand why our children do what they do but they are still our children and will will continue to love them no matter what. She doesn't know when she will see him again as she drove from another state to visit. She thanked me for the hug and the listening ear. So maybe the point of the story is we are all in this together give those mothers a hug and listen to their story. As I am sure there are many of us that don't get that from others. I know I don't, when people find out about my son they act as if I have some kind of plague or something! 

Oh yeah one more thing, I want to thank MOIS for listening to me and all of us as I truly think I would not have done what I did today without the help of all the stories on this site because we are all in that same boat. Our children may have different crimes but our broken hearts are all the same. 

And I guess I should tell you I had a great visit with my son.

Feeling blessed.

To All the M.I.S.S. Mother's Today,

I am GRATEFUL for this moment to be here now to wish every MOM of an Incarcerated child this special gift we were given to be our son's or daughters mother. Although our journeys are all different, we are able to share compassion ,understanding, support and have no judgement. Today, many of us share sadness but we should celebrate our joy of having each other and this forum. 

You are all so special......today and everyday.

Anyone here from Wisconsin?

http://dogjusticeformentallyill.blogspot.com/2015/03/starving-mentally-ill-prisoners-while.html

http://https://www.change.org/p/julie-jones-secretary-of-the-florida-department-of-corrections-protect-the-welfare-of-prisoner-nikko-albanese?just_created=true

Hey Moms :))  would anyone be interested in writing or sending a card to Jessica's neighbor?  This poor girl has no support system, no visits, no phone calls.. nobody cares...  Jessie told her about "The Moms" and has asked if I would put the word out for her friend Sara...  Sara has almost 4 years still left on her sentence, and it's been a lonely time for her.  She's also a Mom and Jessie's asked about Mothers Day Cards..

If any Moms want to share some love, please let me know and I'll give out her address..  I'll send her a card from time to time as well

http://www.change.org/p/julie-jones-secretary-of-the-florida-department-of-corrections-protect-the-welfare-of-prisoner-nikko-albanese?just_created=true

My son's experience as to charges and defense has been unique.  He was accused by a couple of men who had grudges against him (over money and business), and an overzealous prosecutor ramped up the charges to 20 felonies.  My son had never been arrested, never been in a fight, and never taken drugs or abused alcohol.  He had been an attorney, but was no longer practicing after his sloppy accounting practices got him in trouble with the Bar.  He had been a successful member of the legal establishment, and he thought he could call in a favor or two and be out on bail within hours.  Bail was set very high because of the amount of money he was alleged to have misappropriated, and a hold was put on the bail that prevented my son from ever using his own funds to pay the premium.  In short, he was incarcerated for what would be three-and-a-half months before my husband and I were able to max out all of our credit to finally pay the premium.  Even then, it took help from a bail bond executive my son had known. 

Because I don't live in the same state, my son had difficulty finding a place to stay and a way to get around.  He found temporary employment at a warehouse and tried to call in some money that was owed to him, but nothing worked so that he could hire an attorney. The public defender had been pessimistic, unenthusiastic about building a real defense, and single-minded about taking a plea deal (about 5 years in state prison).  Friends came up with enough to get him through a couple of hearings with a private attorney, but then there was no money.  Having been a successful attorney, he made the decision to represent himself. We continued to pay for his living expenses and the cost of copying, subpoenas, pleadings, etc. 

My son literally had PTSD from being locked up, from his ex-wife refusing to bring the children to see him, and from the way the system he had been a part of was now working against him.  He went months without sleeping, suffered from anxiety and depression, and developed an ulcer.  After his release on bail, and especially after deciding to represent himself, he began to get stronger.  He prepared his case zealously.  Once he stood before the judge for pre-trial motions, he felt confident again. But the judge rubber-stamped every motion of the prosecution and denied every motion from my son.  My son said, "A jury will be reasonable."

My son was both defense attorney and defendant. He felt really good about the job he did.  I think that in his mind and in his arguments, he minimized the things he had done and maximized the wrongs of others.  That's probably normal, but a little different when acting as his own attorney, and it didn't work out well.He was convicted of 13 felony counts and is in jail (adding to time served) while awaiting sentencing.  He could get anything from probation and time served to four years (which is about two actual).  He is in a better place mentally and spiritually than he was when he was first incarcerated, but he has a long way to go to get his life back.  I've been told that for mothers, there are several milestones along the way, and sentencing has to be one of the hardest, although the guilty verdicts were like 13 punches in the stomach. 

I am very grateful for M.I.S.S. and hope I can find some way to be of service here. Thank you and God bless you for this opportunity to share our pain and our hope.

Ok now that I aired my frustration about the tattoos I want to comment on the meds my son is on. He doesn't even act like my son anymore.He is zombie like. Total change in personality. They have him on: Thorazine, Lamictal,Prozac and Ativan. Diagnosed as: Schizo effective disorder, and bipolar. Has any one else had their son on any of these meds? And if so can you tell me how they did. Thanks

We went and seen Cody yesterday.He is at Warren Correctional Institution Lebanon Ohio.Two hour drive for us.He has been using our commissary money to purchace tattoos in their! They are all over his face and very unprofessional looking to say the least. My son has totally ruined his good looks and now looks like a monster! I startrd crying when I seen him. I talked to a supervisor and asked how this could go on and suggested a shake down!My son is going to be super pissed at me if he finds out they had a shakedown because of me, but I didn't know what else to do! He is in the mental health ward.

My son called this morning. First time we had heard from him in two weeks. He was on lockdown for getting a tattoo.I have had several conversations with his doctor in the mental health unit where hes at the last couple months. It is real obvious to me when they dont have him on the right meds cause of the things he says. I often wonder if they are used as guinea pigs!

I joined a group called M.I.S.S which stands for Mothers of incarcerated son's...These ladies, and gents are going through the same thing that my son, and I are going through, and these are some awesome people, they send greeting cards, birthday cards, etc, in there own spare time...some are celebrating their own son, or daughter coming home this year, and just reading there comments about it brought lots of tears to my eyes, because I know their happiness, but I also know their pain, so this is to all the special people of M.I.S.S, congratulations, and a special thank you to all of you for everything you do, and GOD BLESS each, and everyone of you.

My son is 22.  He has never been to prison, but to jail numerous times in the last 4 years since he turned 18.  Here's a list that I can remember of his arrest.  5th degree theft, driving without a license(a few times), public intox, giving alcohol to minors, mouthing off to officers, biting an officer(he's lucky they didn't shoot him, driving while barred-habitual offender, drunk driving, domestic abuse 2x both attacking my husband(his dad), failure to appear, probation violations.  Right now he's in jail with 1st degree theft charges, driving while barred-habitual offender and some minor traffic violations and 2 probation violations.  I think he is looking at prison time now.  He has not been easy to deal with.  My husband understandably is fed up and filed papers so he cannot come to our apartment or on the property or he'll be charged with trespassing.  I do not want him to live here, but I wish that at some point he could come for family dinners.  I know if I let him in he won't leave, in my head I know that, but my heart has not caught up to that yet.  He has trashed our apartment, stolen money from us over the years, and who knows what else.  My husband would be just fine if he never saw Charlie again, so would my in-law's.  My in-law's do not even claim him as a grandson or nephew anymore.  When asked how many grandchildren there are they list the number minus 1.  My parents still claim him and talk to him, but my sister is not nice.  She says everything he has ever said or did is a lie, which is not true.  He is our only child.  We adopted him when he was 8 years old.  We started out with a bad situation, but I thought(foolishly) that love and family would help him.  I'm a teacher and I hope no one ever finds out about my son.  It wouldn't look good that I raised a criminal, but I'm teaching their kids?   We just moved to this suburb a year ago so most people don't know our son, which helps.  It's just so hard when people ask where does your son live?  I just tell them the city where the jail is and change the subject.  What's even worse is seeing all of the family pictures at Easter and college graduation pictures and the praises for my friend's kids on facebook as those kids do wonderful things or get married, or have babies.  This morning my son said he could get 25 years and I realized if that happens I could die before he gets out(I'm 52) and  I'll never get to be a grandma.  Stupid stuff like that runs through my head.  I doubt  he would serve all 25 years, but you never know.  

I'm just glad to have a place where I can vent without judgment and around other people who will understand, that my son may be in jail/prison but that does not lessen my love for him.  No matter what I'll always be his mom.

Hi everyone. I'm sorry I've not been around recently. I've been stressing....both good and bad, about my hearing on the 22nd. I'm feeling more confident about it each day though. Anyway....thanks for all the prayers and support

I am a new member if MISS and I am so thankful I found this sight.  My son was incarcerated last February at Elkton in Lisbon Ohio.  He has been diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic by the prison psychiatrist.  There are to things about this that are frustrating me at this time:

• How did my son get to this point.  I have never been informed of the actual events that led to his imprisonment (I am living in Idaho and he is in Ohio; I was unable to attend his trial).  I know that he was arrested for some kind of sexual crime, but no one will tell me what happened.
• Where did I do wrong with him?  How did I not see the signs during adolescense that indicated he was traveling down the road of mental illness?

All I am doing now is trying to cope with this and to support him as much as I can, so that he know that my love for him is unconditional.  We communicate through email and letters, but as this time I am unable to visit him, and actually I don't know whether I could keep it all together if I did visit him.

This is all very difficult, as he is my only child.  Very difficult......

Austin is doing better.  Now that the initial shock and horror have worn off, and he's oriented a little more, his emotions are not running as high.  Mine too.

The problem we have been battling is the mail situation.  I'm getting the bulk of my mail back. 

Because I'm the only one writing to him, I have free reign to send him up to 10 letters a week, according to the jail rules.  So I manage 2 personal letters that are usually .5" margins, single spaced, sze 10 font, 3 pages long, and about 4-6 other letters containing thoughts, quick notes of encouragement, and puzzles - word-find, crossword, and mazes.  Pictures.  Articles.  Short stories.  Mental Health Help.  Yoga & stretching.

All of this is important.  It's part of healing, it's a part of bonding. Even his former pastor has received his same letter back twice!!!!  A PASTOR?? 

 So after doing some investigating, and realizing what's happening, 2-3 phone calls later, and one pissed off momma bear, and we've (THE JAIL AND ME BOTH) ascertained that ONE CHUMP is F-ing with Austins mail.  They actually agreed with me....!!!!  A miracle!

  I faxed a photocopy of the returned mail, explaining that he does get some of it, but that this is getting mighty expensive, and my patience is now wearing thin.  I told the warden: I've called your facility no less than 20x since he got there trying to figure out wtf is going on with the mail.  That I've tried to send the same letter to him since JANUARY 23RD, resent 3x.

THREE TIMES???

Unacceptable.

Hopefully, as of this week, that mail sorter got his ass handed to him, and Austin's receiving mail now..... 

He has risen!!! Happy Easter to all you lovely ladies. I thank God everyday for this wonderful supportive group. You are all amazing. HUGSSSSSSSS