About Us

I wanted to share this book with everyone on M.I.S.S.  I bought it when my son first went into prison and somehow it got shoved to the bottom of the reading pile.  I pulled it out this week and started reading.  The stories, guidance and advice are amazing for everyone who is dealing with what we all are going through.  It's comforting from the day ONE through your loved ones release back into the real world.  This book is written for those of us who are 'left behind'.  My only regret is that I didn't delve into it sooner.  It's available on Amazon.com

My Son P.J. will be getting out October 16th after nearly 3 years. There is a light at the end of the tunnel!  I started planning his 'Welcome Home' party along with his fiancé.  We're buying a 'tree' at Hobby Lobby and tiring 100 yellow ribbons on it to welcome him home.  (Tony Orlando's - Tie A Yellow Ribbon 'Round the Old Oak Tree' - I cry every time I hear it.)  When I first told her about the song, she said, 'No, that's about veterans coming home.'  I said, no it's not, but hat's what they play it for now.  Listen to the words very carefully. 

My son was one of the lucky ones.  I believe that the Virginia prison system (Dillwyn Correction Center to be exact) turned his life around.  He got his CDL and is now a certified welder.  They even had a cap and gown ceremony for the graduation (although family couldn't be there.)  He quit smoking and exercises daily.  He's read close to 200 books and even took up origami. (Made some beautiful Christmas ornaments and sent home as gifts.)  He has goals and a wonderful girl who stood by him through all this. Thanks heavens she was there since I'm in Nevada and don't get much opportunity to visit.  I know there will still be hard times for him.  He's a felon and will possibly carry that with him for the rest of his life. 

I have not been a very good MISS member lately, but I don't want to be dropped off the membership list.  You were all here  at the beginning of this nightmare.  I just recently retired from my full time job, I hope to be able to spend more time encouraging others who are going through this.  

I would love to start a 'MISS Coffee Group' in LAS VEGAS if anyone here is interested.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL, and thanks for your support over the years!

Holly 

Just a note to those who have recently joined M.I.S.S. in search of some connection and understanding. I look back over almost two years since my world was turned upside down, and I see that I have gone through all the stages of grief (still working on acceptance). Whether it is our son or daughter who is incarcerated; whether s/he is guilty, innocent, or something in between; whether the imposition of a sentence was fair or unfair -- our experiences have a great deal in common, and we are a fellowship of travelers down a difficult road. We are effectively serving a sentence for something we did not do, and our lives will never be the same. It helps to believe that God loves us and our precious family member, and that all lives have meaning, even those who are not free.  Thank you for being a part of my faith walk. I hope I can in some small way brighten other lives as several in M.I.S.S. have brightened mine. God bless you!

How can I get a list of those who would like to receive birthday cards?

I read at least 10 chapters and also skipped toward the end, it was difficult for me to put this book down. I balled my eyes out during and after reading. What a story you have Rhonda Robinson! I have said, I need to write my story as well, I only wish I could rewrite it in the process! All of us have a story…sometimes our stories help others and sometimes they just touch the broken hearts of others that have gone through similar situations. One thing I know don't be ashamed of your story…God give us healing and strength through these trying times. Amen in Jesus name!

After sitting staring at the phone that would not dial itself, I finally got the courage to try to call again to talk to Greg's counselor before he leaves the New Directions addictions program in Asheville.   We know he is only a couple of more weeks before being shipped back to Tabor, until who knows what is next and we were pretty worried he'd land back into not much of anything, no opportunities, gang banger haven, arrgh.  Greg asked if Mr. Shade would speak to us and learned he needed to sign a release even though we had POA, so he did, and I am grateful for the advice here to follow through and call.

Mr. Shade was a surprising nice guy to talk to.  I could tell he was uncomfortable that I called and didn’t know what to expect.  Greg had warned him that if he signed the form I would indeed call.  I think he was surprised that I actually did.  So I asked how Greg was doing in the recovery program. I asked if he saw any other issues, physical, mental, emotional and as I have seen with my eyes, Greg is doing great, he said those exact words.  I can’t express how comforting it was for me to hear confirmation that he is doing well. 

We discussed what opportunities could be available after this program is over and what things are in the way of getting them.  We talked about how I may be able to help research resources, offer correspondence courses if there is a gap in training due to the time he has to serve and so many other things.  I told him how much safer I felt with Greg in this facility but of Greg’s understanding that there is no program at Craggy to explore that will serve his growth and keep him motivated. He asked me if I would like Greg to stay there, I never thought it was an option.  I felt he listened when I said Greg will do well if he is kept busy and feels productive and he chuckled and said that while Greg was in his office when he turned his back Greg reorganized his book case (OCD) but he wasn’t mad, said it was needed and he was grateful.

He ended with two real important things.  He said he wished I had called earlier before the staff meeting so he could have had all this information to share with the case manager and the team.  He ASKED ME to call next Tuesday afternoon because he now WANTS to explore best options for Greg’s time inside. Secondly, he said he has NEVER had another parent call him to explore other ways to support their son to be successful in the system.  He told me how very lucky Greg is to have us.  I also let him know that I feel very lucky to have a son that is willing to make the best of his time and take responsibility for his bad decisions and learn everything he can about the lessons he now is presented with in the next many years.

I would not have considered I could call, I have felt so very powerless.  You ladies have given me strength, experience and insight for which I am and know I will continue to be grateful.  Thanks to you ladies that talked about contacting counselors, case manager and etc. at the prison.   I’ll let you know what happens.

     Well, it's finally happened.  After so many opportunities by God's grace to avoid a prison cell, my son relapsed during a year long program and was kicked out and now is facing his first stint in prison.  120 days for drug offenders.  His attorney told me that if they had gone to trial, he could have had the charges dropped because the evidence was so weak, but my son told him he was guilty during both arrests of using meth and just wanted to take responsibility for his behavior and to take whatever came.  Again, God was gracious and he only got 120 days, but prison is prison and he's scared and we don't know what to expect.

     I joined this site some time ago because my heart went out to any mom who has a son or daughter going through this stuff and now it's my turn.  I would appreciate anyone who is Missouri to contact me and give me some idea how it all works.  He will be transferred to Fulton this week and from there, I don't know.  My son's name is Oren.  Please pray for him as he walks down this difficult path of his journey.  There is no doubt that the Lord has a plan for him and this is the place he is going to have to walk until he figures it out.  Please pray for our family as well as we walk right along with him through this.  I still pray for the 15 men that I sent Christmas cards to - prayer can change anything.  Thank you in advance. 

I have had the experiences of great joy and of great sadness. At times those experiences had me as though we were one in the same, so very fully that you could not tell those experiences and me apart. I AM angry, I AM overwhelmed, I AM loving. This human perception of complete identification with a single condition is, well so human and not real. I will always be in the moment experiencing this moment and remembering some things that touched me but are really long moments ago. I may just sit and watch this movie play out. Or I may decide to play. No matter what choose, I will try to remember I Chose This.
Hugs Y'all. Mark Nepo inspired this morning

Hello everyone!! Felt like another short post today, we are just passing time and waiting for trial dates The attorney says time is our friend, in hopes of other issues arise making our court date not such a big deal... I do not know how to feel about that.. because that could mean another mother is having to struggle even more than I am, I did tell my son about the group and did copy some of the supportive words my friends on MISS have sent to me. His birthday is coming up and this is the longest in his 24 years that he has ever gone without a hug from his mama... I know holidays are some of the toughest times to get through and wanted to let y'all know I will be saying a prayer for all to have strength and comfort....Thanks for being here.. just felt like sharing today....  Blessings 

My son is out of the hole after like 45 days…two weeks more of restriction, so no phone calls for two more weeks. Also, lost all his good time so  won't be getting out as soon as he thought. I pray there are no more problems and that he stays out of trouble. Not an excuse but an explanation (having aspergers and not thinking like everyone else is difficult for him). Thankful for JPAy to receive and send emails. God put a hedge of protection around all our loved ones!

My petition has reached 5000 for minors who need counseling while waiting on their trial, they are sitting in lock down for up to a year after a traumatic event and some have mental illnesses! Anyway I couldn't have gotten this far without all of you who signed so thank you very much!!

Okay, I hope no one is offended by the Blog topic, if you are you may need to forego any further reading.  First, I will admit that we are still fortunate, relatively speaking, in the current placement that Greg has for his incarceration.  Craggy Correction Center, in beautiful Asheville, NC  is scenic and much less rigid than other facilities.  Much of this is due to the 90 day Drug and Alcohol program that only allows those who behave impeccably to be allowed to participate or you are simply shipped out. 

Mostly, I have adapted to the atrocities Greg faces daily, normalized them, the kind of thing that allows us to watch bloody slaughters at the cinema without running from the theatre screaming.  I don’t have to like it, or even keep my eyes all the way open, but I can endure it and move through the rest of the day.  I find it interesting that the things that would keep me up at night and send me to the loony bin have found a home in my subconscious so that I can get through the days.  The little bully stuff makes me want to scream and stomp my feet.  I wonder if it is because I can mention these things without losing my mind.

In the last two weeks Greg has gotten harassed and threatened by the CO’s due to mail content.  I sent a print out of a Prison Cookbook Greg requested that was only available on Kindle.  Okay, this complaint was legit that I theoretically couldn’t legally copy and print the pages but I sure couldn’t mail the electronic version…  The CO let that slide then proceeded to tell him that he was on a thin line due to the Prison Legal News content that I send to him since it is NOT his subscription.  Greg did explain that he subscribes to the print but it comes infrequently, they threatened to write him up if I send any more.

Okay I stop doing that.  For months we have been sending clipped newspaper articles of interest and daily Sudoku and crossword puzzles, kind of like the prize in cracker jacks, with every letter (sent daily).  This week they told him it was not fair that he can get these, since the other inmates don’t get them so if we don’t stop, he will get written up.  WHAT?  The thing is, I am more incensed about this than most of the other stuff that I should really be mad about. I promptly went home and mailed him two puzzle books, my FU to the CO, but really, what is the point?

I don’t go on and on about the “red door” that dudes get beat up at because it is off camera but the CO’s see that and do nothing.  I don’t lose my mind that every visit he is strip searched because he has the gift of seeing his mother and dad tainted like a foul after dinner mint, by a CO with blue rubber gloves.  I don’t lose my lunch over the fact that Greg gets stressed out every visit that he may really have to pee and then the visit is over, he can’t leave and come back, just leave.  So he stops drinking any liquids the day before…  I don’t get upset that he doesn’t get sleep because there is no time and no silence, I don’t scream that I see he learns more every day to wheel and deal and negotiate in ways that will not serve him out here and that I have no idea if when he gets out is he will even remember the norms of this society. I don’t cry in fear that he may not live to find his way out of there.

Instead I am so damn mad that I cannot send him clipped out crossword puzzles.  Why would this little piece of humanity, a tiny act of kindness not be allowed to him?  Why is it that the punishment has to be so very thorough that a sweet sentiment is more than they believe he deserves?  They took his freedom not his humanity.  I want to yell, you idiots, his name is Greg, not inmate, he is a human, not your kicking post, if you need to prove your manhood by ripping down this decent young man, then you will never be a man and what you reap you will sow.  I am sure these were the guys that bullied others in school who had the mommas rush in and say, my son would never do that, boys will be boys, and then job after job they were fired until they learned about the very lucrative CO position.

Okay , I haven’t ranted in a while.  I have had a lot of pretty good days.  We are heading into the end of Greg’s time at Craggy and we fall back into uncertainty, we won’t know where he will go, or what night he’ll be moved in the night without warning, transported until they stop at a metal cage for him to wait until he connects with the van that ultimately leads him to the next “opportunity” for redemption, harm, the unknown.  We are soon back into our fear place of not knowing.  I can’t go there, not yet.  We talked about it Sunday; Greg finds this his truth too.

Most days we are okay.  I found that it gets better, like acne, some days I hide it better than others, some days it flares up angry and red and other days I am just grateful that no one else sees it but I know it is in remission and will be back.

Thanks for the add to this site. I have been so heartbroken since my sons incarceration and have not had much support. My son is 18 and has been battling with mental illness for 2 years. He has been to 3 hospitals to try to get a correct diagnosis. One doctor stated that he thinks my son is schizophrenia and bi polar. The other doctor stated that my son should be in a mental hospital. At each dismissal from the hospital, they just gave him medicine which he would not take. 2 months ago, he had a psychosis episode and stabbed his dad with a butter knife, so now he is being charged with an aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. SInce he has been incarcerated, he has taken his medicine and is doing a lot better. I can't afford an attorney, but am so afraid that my son will get lost in the prison system. Anyone have any suggestions?