Hey all my M.I.S.S Mom's, it has been a little while since I have blogged and I want to touch base when things are calm. I feel compelled to share this too.
Greg graduated the DART Cherry program, in NC that is the 90 day "New Direction" Drug and Alcohol program that guys get shipped out to and then sent back to their home camp after. If their sentence stipulated they are to get this, and there is room, and they are doing well enough, they get to go. It seems we were lucky that he got to attend just 5 months into his 5-7 years. His persistence helped him and good time helped too. Greg would not have been eligible for any vocational training until this was done so, it is great news now to have this completed. He does not do bored very well.
He moved from Tabor Correctional to Craggy Correctional for this program and what a huge difference in camps. Tabor was controlled movement, lots of gangs, drugs or course, and violence daily, bad stuff. Greg kept to himself, stayed out of trouble and was on red alert all the time. Craggy was Med/Min, no facility for bad behavior so guys that screw up get sent back to their "home" camp…the end. The dorms are huge - 34 guys to a building and a lot of freedom to go out to their big yards and lots to do there. Greg felt a lot safer here and we were sad to hear no one gets to stay. Was there drugs and some violence anyway? Yes, but comparatively, much better. CO’s were nicer to us and to him.
Long story, short, I spoke to Greg's counselor and he said Greg was doing so well that they found a spot that he can get his HVAC training and some other training if HE wants to stay. So now he is moved to a new building on the camp for inmates that call this home camp. Beds are softer and guys are mellower since they are resident. He does not have to go back to Tabor. We get to talk to him more, once or twice a week when he has time to call and go visit on Sundays most weeks since he is now two hours not 5 hours away.
I made some changes in my schedule, adapting to this new normal. I had a Yoga class on Sundays that I taught that meant with visits only on Sundays, I could not go see Greg. The stress of that finally brought me to the conclusion that the money was incidental and students would be fine and whether anyone else was inconvenienced or not, I ended that class for the 90 days he’d be there. Now it is for good and I am so very relieved.
We have also had our home on the market for a while as it was time to downsize for us. We were wishy washy about doing all the things we needed to make it sell and did not know where we were headed, except out, and so our ungrounded lost feeling had extended into what was going on in our world too. After some soul searching and healing I was reminded that we always planned on living at the beach and why not just go now? Greg will be, where Greg will be until the NCDOC Gods move him again and many of the other vocational camps are near the coast anyway. We can’t just keep moving to follow him, David (hubby) turns 70 this year and this is supposed to be our time so we are taking it. And even better, last week, we received an offer we accepted and close 9/8 if all goes well. We are beach bound and excited. I forgot how excited felt for a while. I must say it is pretty awesome. I find myself singing, playing music, getting up early easily and teary eyed at the thought that I feel this way. I missed me.
I concluded I can do it all from where ever I live. Technology and good transportation make it easy. I can still write Greg every day, be with my hubby, visit, find teaching at the coast and more importantly, the ocean is healing for me. Prayer and meditation are simpler there and if I don’t take care of me and David too, Greg won’t get the best of us. He won’t get to see what real freedom means. Without regrets, shame, substances, and with a spiritual foundation, love and hope, everything is possible and easy to come by.
I have to say that I am an inmate’s Mom and I am well. I love Greg and am saddened by his circumstances but hopeful for this new future and whatever it brings. I continue daily to let go of the things that bring me down that I cannot change and change what I can. I pray for wisdom and faith and practice gratitude where I can find it when I remember.
I saw Greg today for our two hours. Most weeks I get the two hours of uninterrupted conversation. I have to say that I don’t have two hours of conversation a week with my other sons and we don’t speak of nearly as many things as I do with Greg. Their loves are bigger and they need me less, for this I am grateful. I love how I have come to know him and the new level of trust we have to talk about everything. I see what a rare and precious gift this is and will treasure it always.
As always for those that read my ramblings, thanks for being here and being you. You make it easier for me to go on every day and I have found a way to be sparkly again in my life. Another thing to be grateful for… I am looking for these gifts each minute I remember to seek them, will you search fearlessly with me like a pirate for a chest of gold?
Hugs and Namaste
Becky
