As some of you may know, my son, Andrew was released just about 3 weeks ago and came to our home to start his new life. I must say that the transition has been so much smoother than I had anticipated. He really did grow up and mature over the past 18 months. He has focus and drive like I haven't seen in a long time. He is abiding by all rules and regulations, both from his PO and here at home. He has a great attitude. He has been very helpful to me around the house even cooking dinner twice a week. (WHAAAAT??) Physically, emotionally, and spiritually he is doing so very well.
There have been small frustrations with several hoops to jump through with P&P and the motor vehicle dept, etc., but I guess we'd expected that. Some people are helpful, others are just mean.
The biggest hurdle has been finding a job - even a part-time job. I feel like the system sets these guys and gals up for failure here. The first strike is the big black "EX" mark he's labeled with. This eliminates a lot of work. Additionally, Andrew has to wear an ankle bracelet for the first 60 days to track his movements. He cannot leave our state and must be in the house from 7PM - 7AM. This further eliminates jobs that run on shift work (7-3 or 3-11) or construction or landscaping since he can't leave the house until 7 or return after 7. The final complication is that he must check in and report to P&P twice a week between 9-11am. Do they really think employers want to work around all these issues and complications? Why do they make it so much more difficult in an already difficult job market? We need a miracle (or wait for the 60 days to be over). It really stinks.
With all that said, mamas, I still encourage you. This too shall pass, and it is just wonderful to have my boy back. If you are waiting for your child to come home soon, bathe your home and circumstances in prayer. Get others to pray on your behalf. I really do believe that this is much of the reason things have been going so well. Having the supernatural back-up power has made the biggest difference because we're not doing it alone. Some of you have been a great part of that, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Loves.
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Renee, my biggest piece of advice is prayer. I swear it's the reason things are going so well. Not only from you and your son, but all people you know that would be willing to pray ahead and during and beyond. The moms on this site are a great place to start. I will be praying for you both!
As time got closer to his release, I had my son write down all the goals and plans he had for when he got out and send them to me. Big goals like go back to school or buy a car and little goals like see his PO every week on time or eat a favorite food he's been missing. Then I asked him to group them in such a way that made sense to him and write down his plan for attaining each goal. I think it really helped him (and me) to prepare for release. We've been using the lists as a reminder and a way to focus now that he's home.
I also wrote down some things that I wanted to make sure we did when he got home like go to the dentist and get a physical at the doctor and projects I wanted him to help with around the house. This helped him feel 'normal' more quickly and that he had a purpose to help out and do something while he adjusted to just being free again. I have made a point of following through with the projects with him and it has allowed us to reconnect and work together at the same time. Today, for example, we weeded and mulched two of the flower beds in the yard that were in desperate need, and then went together to Lowe's to buy flowers and more mulch for another bed for the weekend. It gives him ownership, and he feels needed. Simple things, but it's working.
Hoping the 3 months go by quickly for you both. Would love to hear how things go!!! Lots of love and hugs.
Even after all the bad job stuff, it must be wonderful to be able to just give him a hug when you both need it.
And when the time is right, God will find him a job. He just needs a little "adjustment" time now - - time to adjust to a normal life again. Thank you for sharing.