Its almost weird...I am no less afraid or hurt then in the past...and this week anxiety is high trying to figure out the prison system..But the weird part is I feel prepared...like the last five years of accepting reality ..spinning my wheels to stop it...begging others to see and the courts to help..always seeing the truth of his patterns so clearly...I am not happy but not shocked we are here..not dismissive of his pain but just knew it was coming..... have prepared for too long that one day it was gonna blow up...prison or death was almost a certainty. Seemed no other way to stop the destruction he couldnt see and some one was going to be hurt...I prayed not the innocent... WEIRD that although I am more fearful than I have been and wouldnt have chosen prison...I maybe also alittle hopeful that the cycle can stop...we were out of options for him to be saved..I know prison is not rehabilitation but he needs to be scared straight.. makes me feel guilty I admit.. I just have had no answers...havent for too long.... praying GODS WILL BE DONE and to move forward with alot of hard work...what rough road to come! I love my son and will continue to fight with him for his future...I am thankful for this site to share and read each journey and the honesty of the struggles.
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