For the past 15 months every single day has been a struggle. As a mother, you will protect your children, care for them, make sure they have what they need, teach them right from wrong. then they become an adult and we hope and pray that they make good decisions. some People think that when your child is an adult and out of the house, that we don't have to worry anymore, and we are free from the responsibilities we had to that child. I disagree, Speaking for myself, I am still his mother, i will always be his mother, regardless of his age, and his decisions, he still is my flesh and blood. many people will disagree with me, and many people have said "He's an adult, he did the crime! and he made the decision, not me!" Yes i understand that completely, that is not going to stop me from loving, or caring about him, i sure in the heck will not put him down, nor will i never turn my back on him. I have not ever blamed my son, i have not been angry with him for what he did. He doesn't even know how bad this is affecting me. I refuse to let him know that I suffer on a daily basis, my heart hurts all the time, i cannot breathe, and i'm losing everything, i cant function right knowing hes in there, I don't want him to be sorry or feel bad for me. my poor son is locked away in a building, he has to do what he is told, he has no freedom, he has to live like an animal, he gets to go outside for 15 minutes once a week, could you imagine what he feels? we complain about the weather, and this heat, while he looks forward to every 7th day to go outside for only 15 minutes. Do you think i want to let him know what i'm going through? he would give anything to have my life than live the rest of his life like that! I may be struggling with my own life right now, but the only thing that is literally killing me, is always thinking about how he must feel, could you imagine knowing there might be a chance that you will live like that for the rest of you life? and your only 22 years old? I really don't know how much more i can take of this.
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I hate that my son is in prison!!! It breaks my heart.
I am so sorry that all of us moms (our families and sons) are going through his nightmare. It's the hardest thing I have ever experienced.
Thank you ladies. i appreciate all your support.