My son is in prison right now for a relatively short amount of time. But he has been in and out of trouble since he was 10. He is 24 now. I want to believe him that this will be the last. He decided to execute his sentence cuz he kept violating probation and ending up in jail. So his solution is "If I am not under probation, I won't get in trouble." UHH... I hope so. And isn't there parole? I understand. He drinks with his friends, and always has the threat of a random UA. The things they want him to do for "drug court" make it impossible to have a life. I just hope he doesn't binge drink like he did before he went into prison."His last hurrah, he called it". His blood alcohol was .326. Yikes! Almost his last day on earth. And that was after 6 hours of not drinking. Both my children have alcohol and drug problems. Their dad died on the couch in their home little by little from alcoholisim. He wouldn't go to the doctor, so pancreatitis, cirrhosis, and probable lung cancer finally took his life. I am in awe that he never went to the doctor for help for his pain. One night he finally couldnt take it, called 911 and died 3 days later. I was shocked. My sons had not told me how bad it was. Anyways, both my sons didn't know how to cope so they did what their dad did (and me too, as I have a prescription drug abuse past) was to drink, and if they found pills, they took them.
I know other children's parents die and they don't go to prison. My son has just this feeling of not thinking he needs to work hard. He got an inheritence and blew it on drugs, alcohol and gambling. And got a DWI which helped suck it dry too.
He gets out in 5 months, which is small potatoes. I hope the 23 hour lockdowns and the horrible withdrawals he had to go through will keep him on the straight and narrow. One can only pray.
I have been having migraines, and I need to stop letting this affecting me so much. My addiction affected my children's life, and before my son went into jail, we had a good talk, although he is in the "blame mom" phase. I went through that with my mom, refusing to see her, and not letting her see my sons. That is a long story, but I start seeing her again after a year, but I never let her watch my kids alone, especially overnight. She has such anger in her, and looks like a sweetie on the outside, but will rip you apart behind closed doors. I worked so hard not to be like that and I think I succeeded. But I struggled with a prescription drug addiction, used alcohol if I couldn't get my pills, lived with a guy for 3 years who was one of the meanest son of a bitches in the world. My son's dad and I had gotten a divorce due to his alcoholism, because I cleaned up, and I couldn't live with his refusal to improve in any way.
I am going off topic, not really talking about my son. He got set up be a C.I. and sold 2 oz of pot to an undercover cop. So, possession charge. I got one of those, but I had children and a career (which went down the tubes anyways) and went the probation route, but I was moving around, broke and didn't keep in touch with them. So they came pounded on my door on my son't 17th birthday and arrested me. I did 10 days in prison and then 20 days house arrest. It wasn't easy. The corrections people treat you like a dog, but I did my 5 years probation and I have only a misdemeanor charge. Not even gross misdemeanor. My son didn't want people telling him what to do, now he has them treating him like a dog. I feel horrible, and my worries have led to awful migraines.. I am on spring bread from school, and need to keep busy. I do have homework. Plenty. Just can't wait til a week from tomorrow to get it done.
Please pray for my son, that maybe he learn something from this! And please pray that my migraines go away. They suck!!
Julie
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