New at this

I considered seeking professional help but self medicated instead....it has only made things worse, not to mention I'm killing myself slowly. I went into such a deep depression that not only have I been unavailable to my son in prison but also I'm not being the mom I need to be for his younger brother and sister...I've slowed down on the brain cell killing, but that voice is always there. That one that tells u there's nothing u can do for your child, no way to help them and u become helpless powerless u lose your identity as a parent. It is an awful cycle...I even cried most of our first visit...it didn't get easier but what helped me,and hopefully some of u on here, was when i realized he was taking it better than I was. They adjust much faster as they have to whereas we can cry and be weak until we pull ourselves out.....best wishes and save yourself a ton of serious hangovers...deal with it and don't try to numb the pain. U can't heal a wound this huge with a bandaid...also write even if u throw it away. It helps to get things out and not have to necessarily share them with friends or family who tend to judge(intentionally or not)...that's why I've been ok here reading other families struggles makes u feel less alone. And maybe u can navigate someone through a difficulty u have dealt with successfully....anywayz sorry to ramble on but I'm super thankful to have found this community. God bless whoever created this forum as well as all the families affected by this heartless joke of a justice system. A broken system where u can buy freedom if u have the means; yet can't prove your innocence unless u have the means oh and let's not forget are the right color...look at the socio economical and ethnic disparities in all governmental systems...all the way from child protective services to Congress...

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Comments

Alanna Malinowski April 22, 2018 at 12:06pm

I thank God every day knowing I don’t have to walk this alone. My alcoholic husband is no help.
Wendy Pratt April 22, 2018 at 11:51am

I considered seeking professional help but self medicated instead....it has only made things worse, not to mention I'm killing myself slowly. I went into such a deep depression that not only have I been unavailable to my son in prison but also I'm not being the mom I need to be for his younger brother and sister...I've slowed down on the brain cell killing, but that voice is always there. That one that tells u there's nothing u can do for your child, no way to help them and u become helpless powerless u lose your identity as a parent. It is an awful cycle...I even cried most of our first visit...it didn't get easier but what helped me,and hopefully some of u on here, was when i realized he was taking it better than I was. They adjust much faster as they have to whereas we can cry and be weak until we pull ourselves out.....best wishes and save yourself a ton of serious hangovers...deal with it and don't try to numb the pain. U can't heal a wound this huge with a bandaid...also write even if u throw it away. It helps to get things out and not have to necessarily share them with friends or family who tend to judge(intentionally or not)...that's why I've been ok here reading other families struggles makes u feel less alone. And maybe u can navigate someone through a difficulty u have dealt with successfully....anywayz sorry to ramble on but I'm super thankful to have found this community. God bless whoever created this forum as well as all the families affected by this heartless joke of a justice system. A broken system where u can buy freedom if u have the means; yet can't prove your innocence unless u have the means oh and let's not forget are the right color...look at the socio economical and ethnic disparities in all governmental systems...all the way from child protective services to Congress...
Amie March 31, 2018 at 8:10pm

I'm 18 months in and cry all the time :(
Deb March 11, 2018 at 9:01am

I cried every waking moment for the first 5 months. Got severely depressed and sought treatment. That helped. Now almost 2 years into this I am constantly sorrowful but can laugh and enjoy the moments God gives me. Deep breath. Love and hugs.

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