About Us

It's soooooo crazy!  I feel so weak... I am so not the type of person that let's things weigh me down.  This is probably the most testing thing I have been through in me whole life.  I thought my divorce was bad or when my son was diagnosed as Bipolar was bad.  This just adds to the roller coaster ride of my life.  

I guess I have to start from the beginning to even understand how we are where we are today.  As I mentioned earlier, my situation is very complex with alot of moving elements.  My last 10 years with my husband and family situation has had a whirlwind of conflict that I don't understand how we are still married.  I think it's because of God and our faith and my husband's dedication that he only wants to be married once. I just don't know how we can make it through this next stage aside with God.  

My son was arrested in Dec 2012.  He's a pretty good kid aside for the fact that he has anger issues and was diagnosed as bipolar at age 7 or 8.  Looking back at everything and the signs of things over the years, I always saw this day coming I hate to say.  I always thought it would be beating up someone not for what he was in trouble for.  

Also, after having the PO do an investigation before sentencing my son told him things I never even knew about which broke my heart even more.... makes me know that my inner thoughts of him being possible sexually abused where most likely true.  

Makes me feel like I didn't do enough.  My family says I got him every know help to man - counseling, intake centers, anger management courses.  He never did without at all.  I always blame myself for the 1st 5 years of his life not having my act together and being a drunk and druggie.  However, I have been sober longer than I was those things for him.  

I first starting seeing strange things with his behaviour as young as a year old.  I lived in another state at the time my ex was in the military and the daycare called me out of work to their location.  They were trying to change his diaper and he was having a fit and wouldn't let anyone touch him or change his diapers.  The facility manager told me this is usually a sign of potential sexual abuse.  I was distraught..... I called my ex screaming at him and his girlfriend and took him to the doc.  Doc couldn't and didn't see anything.  Nothing was ever reported and I just was really a mess back than.  My ex was abusive physically and mentally.... very controlling and even though we were seperated and going through a divorce... he still tried to manipulate me and everything in my life.  Sad to say I tried to move home to Detroit and after spending a year or two there I was just so unhappy.  I got really involved in drugs and was already a heavy drinker.  I had to get treatment.  That is how I ended up in Georgia.  A friend of mine from the military lived here where I am - I loved the environment and thought it would be a better place to raise my son than in Detroit.  It was the best move I ever made.  My son lived with my ex for a year while I was in treatment.  

THAT unfortunately was the worst mistake I ever made.  I didn't have a really supportive family and my mother refused to take my son while I tried to get clean.  I was left without options but to send him to his father.  He emotionally abused and physically abused my son.  As for the potential sexual abuse, there is someone there in that family on my ex's side that has been doing something to the kids there... I know it... I just have no proof and the only one that is going to be able to shed light to it will be my son or his other cousins or half sister there.  Found out from the PO alot of stuff happened there in the year I left him there.  I think this is where alot of my guilt is for sending him there.... I have a hard time forgiving myself for being so weak and screwed up back than.  

Anyways, I started him in counseling in Michigan before moving him with his dad.  He had HUGE anger issues.  He would hit teachers, spit at teachers, was reckless and learn cuss words unfortunately from my young cousins who lived with me.  He had no respect for authority.  Was just a bad environment for him and I was a mess.  Was kicked out of 3 daycares.... and was asked not to start him in Kindergarten because I was told he was just not emotionally mature enough yet.  

When I finally was settled in Georgia after getting clean, I was able to buy a house, move him back with me within a year.  We started going to church and I though life would just get better from there.  I was wrong.  I might of gotten myself together but my son was not.  His anger issues was more intense.  Where at 5-6 years old was physically abusing me.  Throwing things at me, biting me, spitting at me, threatening me with knives, running away.  He ran away from elementary school more times than I could count.  When we would chase him, he would laugh... he thought it was funny.  Even to the point police were called to the school and he was throwing rocks at police and was violent to teachers.  The police put him in the back of the police car, which you would think would scare him, NOPE... he started kicking the windows, spitting on the windows and kicking the screen in the back seat.  The police told me I had his permission to whip his tail..... I told him it wouldn't work.  Needless to say, at 6 years old was suspended from the last 2 weeks of school.  With the counseling I was given him, it just was not enough.  I knew I had a HUGE problem on my hands.  I had him committed to a mental health facility for a whole summer.  He was intake for about 2 months and outpatient another month.  They told me he is Bipolar since I do have a history of mental illness in my family.  My father's mother is Scizophrenic and his grandfather had some type of mental illness.  He tried to murder my grandmother and great grandmother and hung himself in the city jail when i was 4.  

Anyways, what I think is funny is that the prosecution for my son's case trys to say... the one doc my son went to about 3 times and he never was honest with - is an expert and she says my son is not bipolar... I laughed when she said this in sentencing. I fully feel the justice system failed my son and that we didn't have a great attorney.  That's beside the point... my son is mentally ill to some capacity.. just not sure it's bipolar or something else.  I am sure the abuse he substained at a young age also has something to do with all his behaviour.  

After getting him on meds, he was a different boy.  He would listen he did well in school and he excelled.  He was always doing well as long as he took his meds.  My only complaint is that he was hyper sexual at a young age.  The docs told me this was normal for bipolar... I kept telling them I thought he was sexually abused but they said unless my son would discuss it in session, nothing could be done.  I feel that something was lost here..... something more should of been done.

In any case, that brings me to meeting my current husband at church.  I prayed and prayed for a man that would love my son like his own and would understand his mental illness and be an asset to my life.  God answered my prayers.  My husband is awesome and probably more than I deserve.  He has been understanding and loving to my son even though he is not his father.  He always tried to reach to him which my son was not really receptive of people.  He didn't trust he would stay.  After about a couple years... he opened up more to him.  My husband also has a daughter he was raising that he raised alone since she was 6 months old.  My husband understood mental illness because his daughters mother is also Bipolar amongst other things.  She has never raised her daughter.  

I was the most happiest person in the world and so felt like my world was turning for the better.  2004-2006 were the happiest times in my life.  

Around 2007, let's just say the first poo hit the fan!  SD mother started wanting to come around more and more..... so we slowly started trusting her since she was off drugs and was getting treatment for mental illness. SD mom lived with her mom.  So we took a leap of faith and let SD go visit with her at Christmas of 2006.  

My SD was diagnosed with ADHD in school about 2nd or 3rd grade when we noticed distraction issues early on and she was not excelling in school like she should.  We knew her mom was so we had her treated as such.  She visit her mom and by that April of 2007 we received a call from social services.  That my son was touching my SD inappropriately.  They are 4 years and 2 mos apart so she was at the time 7 or 8 at the time and so that would of made him 11 or 12. HORRIBLE situation..... problem was everything she was saying wasn't making sense... nothing was consistent and the call came from her mother stating SD told her in december but we were just finding out in April...??  great!!  Anyways, it was investigated looked into and nothing could be proven.  The most they could say for sure is that they would wrestle rough and that my son would moon her and she didn't like him being rough with her.  We took them both to counseling and never was mentioned again.  We locked her doors at night and I was half tempted to send my son back to his dads but knew from the previous experience that was not an option.  

2007 to 2012 went without incident.  My son disliked her from that point on, wouldn't talk to her.  Wouldn't have anything to do with her and was at times downright mean to her.  I would have to consistently get after him for his actions.  Now, please understand during this time.  He still had anger issues:  2007 to 2012. I had to call the police on him I don't know how many times for fights he and I would have.  Violence when my husband wasn't there.  He was more reserved when my husband was there but it would still happen.  I hate to say, my son is a manipulator and abuser of woman.  

When he met his baby's mother she was 14 and he was 15.  They dated about 6 months before she ended up pregnant.  During her pregnancy I found out he was abusing her.  Physically and mentally.  There was alot of tension because I would tell her parents and she was tell her parents I was lying.  They believed her.  It ended up to the point eventually that I kicked my son out because alot of their fighting would happen here at my home and I would no longer support the relationship.  He moved in with her family.  About 6-7 months later is when my son was arrested.  

Well.... this is alot to take in... so that is why I am doing this in two parts.  My son has alot mental and emotional issues and my fear is that prison is not going to get him the help he needs.  He is only 19 and he can so much get this under control with the proper help.  I again still feel the system failed him.