Posted by Lisa Collins on April 29, 2015 at 1:15pm
My story began 8 yrs ago when my son went away on a college baseball scholarship. He started smoking marijuana and while participating in these activities with other team members, got into a disagreement, turned in by his roommate, kicked out of school arrested and the journey began. He was now in the system. Sentenced to a treatment program, that he attended regularly until a girlfriend introduced him to pills. So he started stealing from us pawning our stuff to fuel his and his girlfriends habit. All the while my not knowing what was going on. He finally admitted to me in Jan 2012 about his addiction tried rehab lasted 10 days, kicked out. I have stuck by him, prayed continually for him loved him through it all. In November 2012 he decided to steal from my mother and a friend of mine on Thanksgiving. The hardest decision was to support my husband in having him arrested. But you know that was the last full night sleep I had. Because I knew he was alive I knew where he was and I knew my phone was not going to be ringing for more money. He spent time in prison in Phila for not completing his treatment court than was transferred to Delaware County for the theft. Spent several more months and was released into a rehab. At the time of his incarceration I joined MISS for first time. Spent 30 days in rehab was sentenced to 9 1/2 months and 3 yrs parole/probation. He did IOP kept all Po appts, passed all urines etc however the money games never stopped. He has ruined us financially. Lately he has been down on himself not able to find job and I questioned his sobriety and always had an answer. Well on April 22, 2015 I received a phone msg because I missed the call that he had been arrested, and my heart sank. I had been praying Lord remove these negative people from his life, but this is not what I had in mind, but I have to trust the Lord is in control of this situation. Although my son is 25 almost 26 he has the mind of an immature 18yr old due to his drug use. He is my only child and I have done way too much for him, but now it's time for me to step aside. He has to grow up. I cannot afford a private attorney, he has had good PD and bad PD. he needs to find his own way. I know he cannot go back to the house he was living in. So I just ask for prayer and strength for both of us, especially for me to not feel the need to fix everything. Thanks for allowing me to join again. I pray for all of us daily!
Thank you all for you comments. It is so nice to be in a place where there is no judgement, where each and every person knows how we each feel. I find myself curled in a ball, very tearful today. I want to be positive for my son, but I find it so difficult right now because I am so angry. My son was living in our hose alone, maybe ten mins from where my husband and I are taking care of his mother who has Alzheimer's. Michael always looked clean and well put together, and I would see him frequently because he was scamming me, but for some reason I was either picking him up or dropping him off that I never anticipated finding my house in total disarray. Hoards of trash, everywhere. Really a strong able bodied 25 yr old couldn't use a trash bag trash can and take things out on trash day. And my son is fortunate he is 20-25 mins from me and he can call daily if he wants, I kindly asked him to limit his calls right now, because my mind is trying to understand how he could live like this, when he was given a home instead of the street. He hung up on me. Live and learn, and I see Gods hand in this. This needed to happen. Thank you all for listening.
I'm there with you on the stealing and pawning and the financial ruin. Our son has stolen so much from us. He, too is an only child and I let too much slide to the point of almost ruining my marriage. Just know you are not alone.
WOW your story is all to familiar. I have been down the same road. Started with a great well respected young man on the high school varsity baseball team. Started with pot then it continued to progress. Oh course I was in complete denial about everything!!!! My son went on to move out after high school with no real plan. He became a self made chef and always worked with great chefs and wonderful restaurants. He never had a problem getting a job. EVERYONE LOVED JOSH!!, but he could never hold a job down for very long. He bounced around so much I could never keep up. Well this went on for years and he became so distrutive and the people he hung with were from the bottom of the barrel. His reckalalous behavior final caught up to him! He found himself in his own apartment with 2 drug dealers. Fight broke out my son took the kids jacket off threw it in his clothes. BAM just like that the cops came and my son got arrested for aggravated robbery! YEP that's right AGGRAVTED ROBBERY in his own apartment! Now like you were saying it was nice finally getting a full nights sleep knowing my son is alive. My son has NEVER been arrested before. 1st time. 5 YEAYS! I worry so much for his future now. Prison is HORRIABLE! I cant believe how everyone is treated. He is now a felon with no real treatment. No educations NOTHING. I pray when this is over we can move on and he can have somewhat of a "normal" life but I just don't see how! This world makes it so hard to find a job. Find a place to live. Find a nice person to share life with. He will always be a rick to people and it sadden my heart! HE'S A FELON NOW! I've never told this stuff to anyone but after reading your story I realized I wasn't the only mother that did EVERTHING and didn't get the best results. My God bless you, your family and ALL the other mothers that are facing the same struggle. And thank God for this website. Its been so helpful!
Hi Lisa! I am so sorry you are having to go through this again. You are right; God is in control. Stay strong in knowing that you are doing what is best for both your son and you and your husband. I tried to do too much also, parenting out of guilt and I now feel that it stunted my son from growing up and out on his own. Now he is having to learn the hard way. I will be praying for all of you. Hugs!
Comments
I'll keep you and your son in my prayers Lisa ... big hugs
WOW your story is all to familiar. I have been down the same road. Started with a great well respected young man on the high school varsity baseball team. Started with pot then it continued to progress. Oh course I was in complete denial about everything!!!! My son went on to move out after high school with no real plan. He became a self made chef and always worked with great chefs and wonderful restaurants. He never had a problem getting a job. EVERYONE LOVED JOSH!!, but he could never hold a job down for very long. He bounced around so much I could never keep up. Well this went on for years and he became so distrutive and the people he hung with were from the bottom of the barrel. His reckalalous behavior final caught up to him! He found himself in his own apartment with 2 drug dealers. Fight broke out my son took the kids jacket off threw it in his clothes. BAM just like that the cops came and my son got arrested for aggravated robbery! YEP that's right AGGRAVTED ROBBERY in his own apartment! Now like you were saying it was nice finally getting a full nights sleep knowing my son is alive. My son has NEVER been arrested before. 1st time. 5 YEAYS! I worry so much for his future now. Prison is HORRIABLE! I cant believe how everyone is treated. He is now a felon with no real treatment. No educations NOTHING. I pray when this is over we can move on and he can have somewhat of a "normal" life but I just don't see how! This world makes it so hard to find a job. Find a place to live. Find a nice person to share life with. He will always be a rick to people and it sadden my heart! HE'S A FELON NOW! I've never told this stuff to anyone but after reading your story I realized I wasn't the only mother that did EVERTHING and didn't get the best results. My God bless you, your family and ALL the other mothers that are facing the same struggle. And thank God for this website. Its been so helpful!
Hi Lisa! I am so sorry you are having to go through this again. You are right; God is in control. Stay strong in knowing that you are doing what is best for both your son and you and your husband. I tried to do too much also, parenting out of guilt and I now feel that it stunted my son from growing up and out on his own. Now he is having to learn the hard way. I will be praying for all of you. Hugs!