Yay, a visit day tomorrow. We trek out to Asheville, NC around noon for our two and a half hour drive. If all goes well we get to spend two hours with Greg and see his new digs. He has been downright cheery the last few times we have talked on the phone. He says this place reminds him of camp, except that he can't leave. The "new directions" recovery program is minimum security at its best in the mountains. Greg said there isn't even a unit for controlled or segregated corrections there. If you screw up, you leave, period. I will enjoy this while he is there. This is the first visit we will have here. I hope it matches my expectations. I look forward to my hugs.
After he completes this program he is back to another facility, hopefully for some education or vocational placement (as he was told) that will keep him focused and around other inmates that want the same. We can hope that it is as civilized as this. This is the first place he has been that hasn’t been cruel, scary and inhumane. The CO’s, he said, are even for the most part decent. If you have never been to Asheville for a visit, then the town itself is just like that. It’s a modern hippie community where the locals walk around with signs offering free hugs, spontaneous drum circles and in general an environment of kindness.
Recently I have started to also send notes in the mail to my other “free” sons, not just Greg. It occurred to me that I spend a lot of time thinking about, writing to, and worrying about Greg, most of which I can do very little about. I have two other grown sons that are doing well. While we communicate periodically, much less of my attention is on their lives and they could be a greater source of joy with much less effort and that I deserve to have that also. I want to find more time to enjoy them and plan on exploring how to do that.
If I believe that this journey for Greg is part of his life plan then I have to practice the faith that my plan isn’t inside with him but continuing to live out here while I await his return to us. That means nurturing these other loves as well. It seems that that should be easy right? It seems the good parts of my life get lost in the shuffle so much quicker. We know that sometime soon again, Greg will be ripped from his “mountain world” and thrust into the next leg of his journey. Like always, it will be without warning and then the anxiety of what this place is like will return until the next normal is realized, for better or for worse. Then the “good” seems to be put on the back burner as well. That is what happens for me anyway. My faith only seems to hold up strong when I know what I am facing. The unknown always tosses me out of faith and back into fear.
Well for today, we will enjoy what we know and be with Greg. I just can’t wait. Hugs to you comrade Moms.
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