Tell me how it's been for you to write your son after they have been arrested ? I am on the fence about how to respond. I do not want to tip toe around his drug addiction and the fact that he has comited crimes that has gotten him into so much trouble he may be spending years in prison.
Its so tricky because I don't want him to feel worst but I dont want to sugar coat the fact that he has been so sick for so long (at least 17 years).
If I just sweep it all under the rug and act like its all puppies and rainbows that is not very helpful. But if I am real and write from the heart, he could feel terrible after I write. I know he feels so terrible about himself as it is.
How do you MISS mothers handle this?
He had dual diagnoses and is self medicating but none the less the crimes are so huge, I am so much inner shame and I am devastated.
Thanks for your feed back in advance.
Its only been 13 days.
~pamela
Comments
Do not be ashamed! NEver ever be ashamed. Be there for him and be strong, as hard as it is, pray for strength. My nephew went thru the same thing self medicating and he commited one crime after another...Hes figuring it out now, never too late, just have to pay the consequences and the system doesnt always seem to want to help...some kids really just need help not to be locked up. Good luck, here if you need anything at all
Thank you, I am terrified right now. He has a twin brother who has severe mental illness and he is off his meds. Is it safe to write on here? I am so paranoid. I am afraid to talk to my friends or anyone. That is a good idea to write every day. I feel like a prison widow now. His twin tells me everything so I know more than I wish I knew. This is the saddest thing that has ever happened to me. Sadder than my little brother drowning in the river, sadder than my mothers suicide. Words can not describe how sad I feel. I feel scared to death and so sad. Its like our family has been ripped apart. We have been crying for days and we will be crying for many more to come.
Thank you
I am going to be straight up from someone who has had a drug problem and a mother of sons who are addicts i hope nobody gets offended ok first of all there is no need to talk about their crimes in order to talk about their addictions and holding them responsible for the actions their addictions lead them to I think for me NA/AA helps a lot they even have meetings for family members who have no clue what addicts go through but do not sugar coat things and sweep them under the rug because the problem never goes away you can love them and lead them to help but honestly nobody could get me clean but me not the love for my kids my family nobody could make me want to get clean untill I hit the bottom sometimes we addicts got to hit the bottom hard before we even want to get clean and even then some addicts choose to not get clean but do not act as if there is not a problem it only gets worse I really hope i did not offend anyone but it is what it is and we all need tough love and boundaries God bless
I agree not to discuss his crimes or charges in your letters. Just love him and be there to support him right now. (((((((HUGS))))))) My son also has ADHD and wouldn't take the medicine right and self-medicated at times