Feelings

I am sad, confused, and just lost. I just don't understand how all our lives had to be shattered and altered forever especially this way. I thought I was over these feelings. It has been 2 years. I thought I was strong but I have these horrible moments of sadness. This is our new normal but I don't want it to be. I want it to reverse and my son and his family to back to the way it was. Nothing can change the past unfortunately, so we all move on in a daze thinking we are okay but we are not inside and never will be. I feel sometimes like I am drifting away from Jesus and the strength he gives me. I was so close to Him at the beginning of this so why can I not be as close now? Sometimes I think what is it all for, why are we here--to just be hurt and sad. Don't get me wrong, I am not sad all the time, I have wonderful things to live for===my daughter just had her first baby, the few and far between times I get to see my son's children, and a great husband. I need to focus on the positive.

Thanks for listening to me. I am so thankful for this site because I know you mother's have these same feelings and struggle with the "New Normal" everyday as I do. I am thankful my son is alive and well as he can be in a prison. I will get to see him in a few months I hope, if the application comes back approved. Please pray that it does. I haven't done anything that would not make it come back ok but you know the government especially Virginia--unpredictable and they make up their own rules and laws, at least that is my feeling.

Thanks again to all the ladies that read this. I as you are fighting to be strong and keep my faith in tack.

You also should be able to fill out an application on line ( copy and paste ) there's an email thing where you can do an application online and it only takes a couple weeks instead of a couple months I wouldn't worry about not being approved the worst that they can do is give you nonprivileged visits through a glass instead of being able to be in a room with him but from the sounds of it that's not going to happen it only happens if you have been convicted of a felony or crime with in the last three years and then they put you on Nonprivileged visits meaning you see them behind glass for one year and then after that you get privilege visits but sounds like he will be approved but if you do it online through email it will be a lot quicker

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Comments

Ronnica Westcott January 24, 2016 at 7:39pm

You also should be able to fill out an application on line ( copy and paste ) there's an email thing where you can do an application online and it only takes a couple weeks instead of a couple months I wouldn't worry about not being approved the worst that they can do is give you nonprivileged visits through a glass instead of being able to be in a room with him but from the sounds of it that's not going to happen it only happens if you have been convicted of a felony or crime with in the last three years and then they put you on Nonprivileged visits meaning you see them behind glass for one year and then after that you get privilege visits but sounds like he will be approved but if you do it online through email it will be a lot quicker
Ronnica Westcott January 24, 2016 at 7:35pm

I so identify and understand will be praying for you I have moments of happiness and sadness . I understand . A new kind of normal by carol Kent she also has a book called when I lay my Issac down she has a son that is doing a life sentence excellent book and was a great comfort to me
Beth A January 18, 2016 at 7:32pm

Thank you everyone for the support. We are all blessed to have this sounding board of women. Us mothers didn't want or ask for any of this but here we are and it is amazing to have this site for encouragement. You have all lifted me up. Back on my feet again, letting Jesus carry me. Diving back into His word, have trust and faith. You all opened me up again. Faith is a very important thing and I am glad I have all of you to get me back on that track.

Thank you so much!
Penny Lafrance January 18, 2016 at 7:22pm

Hugs,momma I know those feelings all too well.
Lisa Collins January 18, 2016 at 2:49pm

I too do not like this new normal. And just when I think I am doing ok, I hear a song, read a scripture, look at a picture, and think how can this be, when just a month ago he seemed to be on the track. I like you want things to just go back to the way the were. But I know that is not possible, and God has a bigger plan for Michael right now. Hugs and prayers too you!
Duecesmom~Deb January 18, 2016 at 12:13pm

Beth, I too have these feelings, my son has been down for 5 years now. I at times have horrible moments, but thank God he reminds me that he has a plan for us. JEREMIAH 29:11 read it and let those words speak yo you. I love scripture and in no way am I versed on the bible but this particular scripture God spoke to me, no not literally but Goes hand was all over this. When you feel you are driving away, pray, talk to a close Christian friend, attend church, ho out and serve, pay for a meal, smile at a stranger, just find a way to put focus on others and of course GOD. I will lift you in my prsyers
Rose Remi January 17, 2016 at 9:26pm

I know what u mean Beth it's also been 3 yrs for me as well .At first I was a wreck but with prayer and time it seen to be okay.I still cry for my son not as much now but I know God got his back and I'm thankful that my son is doing okay working and taking up bricklayin classes and I try to do all I can to keep him with the things he need.and so thankful he will be home in 2 more years. .all we can do is stay prayed up..God bless.

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