i don't even know where to start. This is such a lonely place to be I'm so glad I found this site. My son got into trouble last summer and we have been slowly working through a plea deal that would give him a second chance and allow him to stay in college. Then 2 weeks ago he got two new felony charges in another state, and has been suspended from his University. I don't even know yet what will happen... Making it even harder is that one of my neighbors and who I thought was a friend has been telling everyone she know at school functions about my son. I have three younger kids in middle and high school and now almost everyday someone says they heard about my son. It is really hard on my other kids because they love their brother and I feel completely helpless to do anything. Meanwhile he has a court date in Virginia in June and his court date in NC has been delayed. So we have lawyers in two states. I am finally having trouble getting through the day it is so hard. I work and my other kids are busy with sports. And just yesterday I found out my son pawned his grandfathers coin collection for drug money. Any advice and support would be so welcome.
Welcome. This is the place to, and the place where you will find comfort, support and no judgement. My son was kicked out of college for pot, only after being there a couple months on a baseball scholarship. This sent him into a downward spiral into a more serious drug problem, because he knew he had screwed up. Unfortunately he played us like a fiddle for years, before we realized how serious a problem he had. Yes he has stolen and pawned from us and my mother. I learned after 5 rehabs and numerous incarcerations, this is not my fault. He has to want to make better for himself. I cannot want that more for him. I love him I stand beside him, and now that he is serving his time, I help when I can by putting money on his books, and writing and visiting. I never bonded him out, because I knew it would cost me a lot more if he got in trouble. In looking back that is exactly what happened. He will beg, he will plead but he has to prove himself. You need to take care of yourself and your other children. My church has stood beside me, and a few family. Not many friends around that I even discuss with. I have nothing in common with anyone but the moms on here who offer daily encouragement. I can't offer any help about the different state issues. You will find much comfort, advice and help here.
Marnie, I'm afraid the only thing I can offer is support and prayers for you and your family. You truly do find out who your friends are during difficult times like these. Accept the love and support from those that offer it and try your best to put the others out of your mind, even if you can't put them out of your life. I've learned over the past year-and-a-half that some people just don't know any better and some people are just mean. But either way, as hard as it is, it is not my place to judge - Lord knows, I don't want anyone judging my family. My other children (though adults) and grandchildren are feeling some of the same pain your kids are going through...encourage them to talk to you or someone that they trust and to hold their heads high. They have done nothing to be ashamed of, including loving and supporting their brother - family love is a bond like no other. Take care and know that there are parents here who will support you..no matter what!
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Marnie, I'm afraid the only thing I can offer is support and prayers for you and your family. You truly do find out who your friends are during difficult times like these. Accept the love and support from those that offer it and try your best to put the others out of your mind, even if you can't put them out of your life. I've learned over the past year-and-a-half that some people just don't know any better and some people are just mean. But either way, as hard as it is, it is not my place to judge - Lord knows, I don't want anyone judging my family. My other children (though adults) and grandchildren are feeling some of the same pain your kids are going through...encourage them to talk to you or someone that they trust and to hold their heads high. They have done nothing to be ashamed of, including loving and supporting their brother - family love is a bond like no other. Take care and know that there are parents here who will support you..no matter what!