I keep thinking that I am going to "adjust" to having my child in a prison but I can not adjust to something that was wrong to begin with. Every day I work with other organizations, lobby groups, legislators, attorneys and other people in the same situation. I draft documents, I wrote articles, I participate in interviews and I am very busy, but then the reality sets in that none of that is going to bring him home. He never should have been charged much less forced to take a plea and that anger just builds in me every day. I fear for his safety, he has never been away from home, was no where near being ready to live on his own and still has the brain function of a 12-14 year old, and has already been victimized twice, witnessed a suicide and has been threatened repeatedly and that was in the jail, now he is in a prison. He has made some friends there that are of his same age both physically and mentally but none of them have sentences nearly as long so when they are gone, I know his sadness will return. Hearing him cry every day never gets any easier. I have worked with him every day of his life to compensate for his disabilities and now I have no control over that and feel that we are going to loose ground.
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Thank you both, I know that is right but changing a law that is so terribly corrupt and supported by so many people because they do not understand it, and do not understand how was supposed to be used as opposed to how it is being used, it just criminal all by itself. Not a single day in my life is resting, there are big projects in the works and everything else that I work on daily keeps me busy but my mind is always in there with him. People do not understand us, you all and I, and realize that we have lost children. Yes they are alive where other people's loved ones are gone forever but the worry is constant. Mary and Julie are both right, I will never give up. He was brought into this world against all odds and he will be brought home and his name restored by the same odds. Julie you are absolutely correct, even people who actually commit crimes that they are charged with (and that number seems to be going down), their punishment is supposed to be set by the court, they loose their freedom etc but the ADDITIONAL punishment that takes place is so much more than that. The US population does not seem to care, they figure if they are in there than who cares but they should care. We are supposed to be a civilized society, one that claims to be the best in the world. We are far from that but most do not know about the conditions and what goes on in our prisons. It is very sad.
I agree with Mary - you DON"T know and because of that you can never give up. Your story is heartbreaking on so many levels - and I firmly believe that prison reform has to happen! But it isn't going to happen without people like you and me and everyone else who refuse to give up because our sons matter! What my son did was wrong and I do believe that he needs to suffer the consequences of that. But what happens behind those prison walls is beyond the punishment they receive. They are still human beings and should be treated with dignity and respect - regardless of their crimes. It's sickening the conditions they endure - and it should not be tolerated by any of us. Do not EVER give up because your son deserves better!!