Blaming ourselves or being blamed

I read all the time how we as mothers blame ourselves or are blamed for our kids crimes by the way we have raised them. I blamed myself at first and was also blamed by the judge and others for my sons crime but I have sense came to realize I raised my son the best I could. and it makes me angry to hear someone say when I child commits a crime that is the way he or she was raised. My son was raised in a Christian home I work and have worked all my life to provide for my kids I do not or have not ever drank or used or sold drugs I have a clean criminal record but yet have been told my sons crimes were my fault. My son suffers from mental illness and as hard as I tried to get him the help he needed it seemed no one else cared until it was to late. Just because we are there for our kids doesn't mean we are at all to blame l do not condone what my son done but I will stand by my sons side through this. He is paying for the crime he committed.
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